Tuesday, March 18, 2014

Chainclaw's Top Ten Armored Heroes (...who aren't Iron Man)!

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You know who's cool? Iron Man. I completely blame him for my huge fascination of mecha and robot characters. I could do a top ten on armored heroes easily. However, Tony Stark is ridiculously popular now a days. Everyone knows the Iron Man armor. Seems doing a top ten of favorite armored heroes would be anti-climatic when you know Iron Man will be numero uno. Then it hit me, "Hey Chainclaw, what should you do about this pretty simple problem?" I asks myself. I answered "Armored Suits! But no Iron Man!" out loud, feeling silly for yelling at the walls.

Anyway, that's what we have today, so without further ado... Chainclaw's Top Ten Armored Heroes(Who Aren't Iron Man).

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10. Rocket Red- Well this was an interesting idea from DC. Instead of one armored super hero.... why not a whole army of 'em? In the DCU, Russia intiates the Rocket Red program, a whole slew of identicle armored soldiers. Identified only by there armor number, they seem expendable, but can be tough customers for your average supervillain.

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9. Blue Beetle 3- Jaime Reyes is a teenager who was bestowed the power of the Scarab that gave Dan Garrett his powers. Unlike Garrett or his successor Ted Kord, the Scarab bestowed Jaime with a more potent armored form. Able to shapeshift/morph weapons and gadgets from his suit, Jaime is a very different Blue Beetle, but I dig him. The suit looks cool and it's a neat new take on a legacy character.

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8. Spitfire and the Troubleshooters- "New Universe? What the hell is that?", you may ask. Well it was an imprint from Marvel comics in the 80's to try experimenting with a universe of super heroes, in slightly more realistic and mature settings. Spitfire here was their armored hero, and in a nice change in status quo, a woman pilots the suit. In fact, actually, "Spitfire" is her nickname, not the name of the suit(that would be the MAX Armor). I just like the big clunky design, it looks powerful.

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7. The Guyver- I will be the first to admit, I have seen one or two anime's featuring the Guyver, and the two live action movies so not amazingly well versed with the character. On top of that, that was a long time ago, so my memory is a little spotty. However, one thing I do remember is an alien artifact implants itself in a young man's head, and when there's trouble, the Bio Booster Armor envelopes him. The big thing about this suit is unlike the first few entrants, this armor looks mean. The narrow eyes, the form fitting alien look, and the blades that jut from the elbows. Intimidating and not something you wanna be on the wrong side of. While a hero, Guyver isn't a shiny, friendly, shaking hands type. He's a warrior, and he looks the part.

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6. Warhammer 40K armor- Ok there's a bunch of variations of the basic armor, let's just use the Terminator image as an example. Warhammer 40k is a futuristic role playing game with minatures in either standard or epic scale. Hordes of intergalactic baddies need to be vanquished by your rough and tumble team of armored space marines. The best way to do this is by getting encased in these tanks with two legs. These things just have that "English style" to them.... even if for the life of me I can't nail down what the hell the specifics of that style is. Rivets, simple general shapes with intricate symbols? I dunno, they just look cool. No Space Ork is having an easy day against one of these metal monsters.

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5. The Big Guy- Ok..this suit is not exactly human sized. Fair enough. However, it's also not a twenty story high Gundam, so it fits. Big Guy is amazingly strong, has flight capabilities, and seemingly endless array of weapons(lethal and non-lethal). Not to mention he just looks so damn heroic in his good guy pure white. He's just awesome, nuff said.

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4. Exo-Squad E-Frames- I'll lay it out. I never watched the cartoon. I really don't even know when it aired in my area. However, the Exo-Squad figures and designs are just freaking cool, cool enough I bought some of the toys. Sure some of the suits are more like mechs, but the bulk of them are just slightly larger than human sized E-Frames with a host of weapons, gadgets, and features. Not to mention, you have almost a whole army of these guys, each suit different. It's a mech suit fans dream.

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3. "Azbats"- I never knew when I may have the chance to give Jean-Paul Valley a little fan love, but lo and behold here it is. Some say the Quesada designed Knightfall suit is overly complex, and busy. Screw that, it's awesome. Not as big a fan of the red version, I love the traditional blue. It's supposed to be a different man taking over the mantle of the Bat, and this suit shows it. Teched out and heavily armored, Batman is just scary looking in this interpretation. It may not be many people's favorite, but it's one of mine.

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2. Samus Aran- Aha, pulled that one out of left field didn't I? Samus has awesome armor. As a bounty hunter, her armor is outfitted to the nines with weapons, enhanced abilities, and it can take a beating. Even better, you get to put the suit through it's paces by being able to play as Samus in the Metroid games. What is better than a cool suit of armor that you can pretend to be inside of? Well that would be our number 1....

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1. Cyclone Armor- You ever see that one thing in a sci-fi movie or show, and as soon as you saw it, you desparetley wanted it to exist in reality? That would be the Cyclone for me. A cool tricked out motorcycle, and if you happen to be hunted by evil robot crab aliens, a flick of the switch and you're suddenly in an armored suit with weapons and flight capabilities. One thing the Cyclone always wowed me with was it's speed and agility. It has everything you could want. It looks cool, it has weapons out the wazoo, and best of all, it's all in a suit that turns into a fricking motorcycle. Awesome to the nth degree. To this day I still want this to be a real thing you can buy at like a Honda dealership.

Well, time to power down, there's my top ten armored heroes....who aren't Iron Man, hope you enjoyed! Thanks, Tony/Chainclaw.

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