Chainclaw's Top Ten WORST Star Trek Villains.

Well, well, well... Looks like I'm back to the universe Rodenberry built again. Last time I rattled off my favorite villains from all series of Star Trek shows and movies. That list was easy compared to the challenge I have set in front of me. The best of the best is easy compared to the...worst. Just as there are many adventures featuring very well written villains, there's also been a large number that feature bad guys ranging from simply not well thought out to....well honestly, laughable. However, even then there is enjoyment at looking back at these failures of villainy.

Keep in mind since some of these characters are really just silly, this top ten will not be very serious in tone. Hopefully you'll get a few laughs and also some fond memories will pop up too. So without further ado, here's "Chainclaw's Top Ten Worst Star Trek Villains".

10. The Pakleds- The most useless aliens in the universe. Unable to apparently fix their own ships, much less form coherent sentences, the Pakleds are almost too pathetic to make fun of. Almost. Funny thing? These idiots of the galaxy managed to kidnap Geordi LaForge. Doesn't speak well for the guy. Even stranger is how they held Geordi up as some sort of demi-god it seemed. "Geordi make ship go." "We are smart!". Indeed.

9. The Bynars- These aliens exist as bonded sets of twins and their entire race communicates in binary language(I can't wait for the MSDOSians). Ok that in and of itself isn't a horrible idea for aliens. The slope gets slippery though when they end up being the antagonists in their only appearance. Not physically intimidating, they require using their intellect when they decide to hijack the Enterprise D. Their amazing plan? Get Riker laid on the Holodeck. Seriously, they use an advanced holographic template called "Minuet" to seduce Riker at first, then sweet talk Picard later. Both the accomplished officers think with their genitals for 30 minutes before taking a cold shower and fixing things. The Bynars.... they will attack you, with SEX..... just not with them.

8. Apollo- Don't you hate when you're cruising the universe and a giant floating disembodied hand grabs your starship? Yeah, kind of a drag. That's how bored god Apollo rolls though. Whiny, spoiled and really all around douchebag, Apollo gives even the worst Greek Gods a bad name in the episode "Who Mourns for Adonais?". One example? Dude will totally cockblock you and steal your chick. Nevermind the super hammy overacting and again, giant floating hand holding the Enterprise and you have not only a fratboy jerk, but a weird ass fratboy jerk, as your villain.

7. Shinzon- Ahh, Shinzon, the young evil Romulan clone of Picard who rebelled against the empire. Get all that? You Sure? It's pretty convoluted. "Nemesis" was already bad but this villain was just ridiculous. It's his back story mainly. It's like they had a dartboard of cliche's and just used what they hit. Young and arrogant? Check. Evil clone of main character? Check. Random enemy alien race? Check. This was a much better idea when it was Tasha Yar's half Romulan daughter Sela? Double check.

6. Species 8472 (Scorpion Aliens)- My lord were these things terrifying when introduced. Straight up "Borg Killers" they had bizarre organic weaponry and starships, disturbing features, and came out of nowhere. The back story? The Borg had found a way into "Fluidic Space" and had unsuccessfully started a war with 8472. That was a bad idea. The Borg, in another nerfing incident, got their automated asses handed to them. 8472's debut in the two part episode "Scorpion" was pretty cool. Then....later they return and.... Sigh. Voyager runs across them again, this time taking on human forms to understand and plot against the federation. I make light of the Borg getting nerfed, but in one episode a potentially cool villain got turned into a huge joke. They were so de-mystified and rendered uninteresting they have yet to ever show up in any Trek shows or movies since.

5. Balok- "Have some ...Tranya!". This weirdo alien at first scared the beejeebers out of the TOS crew in "The Corbomite Maneuver" as a long faced grumpy looking alien. Only to then reveal himself as a young, nightgown wearing Clint Howard with a very annoying, high pitched, dubbed adult voice. He wasn't really so much...bad...as he was creepy as hell. I mean to me he looked liked he should be tooling around in a space van asking space kids if they wanted space candy...oh sorry I mean Tranya. Brrrrrr.

4. The Kazon- Whoa boy, this may be a long one. The Kazon were among the earliest of the Voyager crew enemies(aside from the confused Caretaker), and definitely remained the worst for a long time. I mean come on...space nomads? Did they sometimes have like tent cities on asteroids? Looking like someone tried to make a Klingon costume out of duct tape and a cheap afro wig, they were far from intimidating. Not to mention they easily tie with most 80's cartoon villains for having the most sinister plans.... that get easily foiled. Add to the fact for like two seasons these were the main bad guys for some ungodly reason... that in and of itself was the real torture. Let's put it this way, later when the Voyager crew runs across the Borg, the Collective states they are aware of the Kazon, and they weren't worth assimilating. Ouch.

3. Dr. Tolian Soran- Ok, if you liked "Generations", fine, but El-Aurian scientist Dr. Soran is still a lame villain. His entire arc is getting back to a space phenomena called "The Nexus Ribbon", which, if entered, transported you to your personal hearts desire. A place he went once, but was teleported out of by the Enterprise B. The problem is Soran...Kirk...even Guinan all went into the Nexus while aboard ships. So what does this genius do? Wastes excessive resources, and destroys entire planets and space stations to bring the damn thing RIGHT to him. They may try to explain it, but the fact is the Nexus destroys whatever it runs across, so why is a planet better? Other lameness? He aligns himself with Lursa and B'etor, the Duras sisters, who are known jerkfaces. He tortures Geordi, which would be scary if the engineer didn't get tortured like once a season. Add to the fact he's such a lame bad guy he can't even fire his pistol gangster style as the damn thing corrects itself to fire right. I wonder where he got his space degree at.....

2. Sybok- Spock's half brother, also known as "Space Dr. Phil", Sybok was a mess. In a nutshell he liked "taking people's pain away", hijacking starships, and literally looking for the God of Sha Ka Ree so he could prove he was very smart. Giant energy barrier at the middle of the universe no starship can pass? Doesn't phase captain feel good. His biggest offense was being the primary antagonist in Star Trek 5(aka the worst Trek movie) until the next guy...

1. God/God of Sha Ka Ree- My personal dislike for this floating head is well known amongst the Fanholes. Known for his awesome catchphrase of "YYYYOOOooooooOOOOOOUUUUUUUUU!", he's hardly menacing, much less a "God". After all, what does God need with a Starship? Anyway, he's mainly lame for being the big payoff villain in Star Trek 5, payoff meaning being so powerful he can take a Photon Torpedo to the face, yet get blown the hell up by a wing mounted Klingon Disruptor. I mean if you're going to be built up as a being who has confused many alien races as their god, you may want to build up your hit points or something. A bad villain for a bad movie, and the number 1 entry on my list.

There you go, as with my last list, all personal choices if you disagree feel free to let me know! - Tony/Chainclaw.

Chainclaw's Top Ten Star Trek Villains

Ahh Star Trek, a franchise as well-known as sliced bread. In three short years the exploits of the Enterprise crew and it's spin-offs will have been around half a century. Whether it's television, animation, or feature films, Trek has a massive fanbase. While of course the adventures of Kirk, Spock, Picard, Sisko, and even Janeway or Archer are the core, there can be no mistake that Trek has some great, and memorable, villains.

The variety of villains is one of the biggest differences from Star Trek to Star Wars, which while briefly showcasing other threats usually hinges its tales on the never ending Sith/Jedi conflict. That variety is why I decided to make this list. Be forewarned this list is not based on fan popularity, or which bad guy sells the most toys or merchandise, it's simply the baddies I enjoy the most from the various series.

10. The Hirogen - A Voyager Villain? Well...yeah. The Hirogen were basically a more television friendly version of the "Predator" alien. I wish I could list an in depth well-grounded reason for my enjoyment of this giant gun toting race, but really it boils down to they looked cool. Plus, I really enjoyed the two parter where the Voyager crew ran around fighting Nazi uniformed Hirogen, mostly because it had a TOS vibe to it.

9. The Ferengi - Originally designed as one of the first "new aliens" for TNG, the Ferengi went from rather cardboard cut-out mean bad guys to something more interesting. As they evolved they didn't do bad things with a thirst for conflict, their motives were almost always based on greed and the art of the deal. While this made for many humorous and atypical characters, it also delivered bad guys whom always seemed to be underestimated, yet managed to be more than a pain in the rear for the TNG era crews.

8. The Cardassians - Oh, the evil spoon heads. Originally debuting in TNG, much like the Ferengi, they really were fleshed out in DS9. Unlike the hot blooded Klingons, the aloof Romulans, or greedy Ferengi, the Cardassians were sinister, backstabbing and brutal beings. Reptilian features like their ridged eye sockets and darting pupils, coupled with slicked back black hair, the Cardassians appeared as two legged snakes, slinking their way around the galaxy plotting their machinations. Another tidbit that adds to their menace is continued reference to a costly conflict with the Federation that was never shown fully onscreen. Add their involvement in the Dominion and you have some excellent villains.

7. Lore - The classic "Evil Twin" to TNG's Lt Cmdr. Data, Lore was a great villain. Unlike his "brother" Lore possessed more human attributes, such as enjoying cruelty, lying with a straight face, and pretty much being a right bastard. Hey, I didn't say they were GOOD attributes. Lore was a master manipulator, playing his brother like a fiddle, duping everyone from his creator to even corralling some wayward Borg into a mini collective. His plans never came close to benevolent, and it was always fun seeing Brent Spiner stretch his acting skills to play a character so like Data but so....not.

6. Khan Noonian Singh - Or... more universally known as "KHAAAAAAAN!" Singh was a genetic superman awoken in the time of Kirk's original tenure on the Enterprise. Plotting, focused, intelligent, and pretty damn strong, Khan posed a threat to the galaxy, until Kirk dumped him on a backwater planet. This could have been the end of Khan, but in the classic "The Wrath of Khan" the deposed would-be king returned with, well a whole lot of wrath indeed. Stealing the Genesis Device, hijacking the Reliant, and being indirectly responsible for Spock’s death made an impact no Trek fan can ignore. I'm sure you ask, "If he's so bad, why so low on the list?" Simple, Khan had two appearances total, and while his plans were grand originally, in the end his entire world unraveled to enact revenge on Kirk.

5. The Romulans - As mentioned, cold, aloof, calculating, and devious... a few of the words that scratch the surface of the Romulans. Most of all mysterious really describes them. The Romulans aren't fans of the Federation for much of the time they appear, and their motivations really seem to depend on which Romulan is appearing which episode. I feel Rodenberry really just wanted "Evil Vulcans" and honestly that idea in and of itself is scary as hell. The fact that during the TNG era anyone nearly pooped themselves when a Warbird de-cloaked is a testament to how threatening the Romulan presence was.

4. The Borg - A race of millions, controlled by one mind. Disturbing to see, terrifying to fight, and futile to resist, The Borg were the big breakout villains of TNG. Later they were even called upon again to help breathe life into Voyager. Short on characterization, the original encounter was to be a lesson to Picard from Q. However, the Borg followed. Ransacking the fleet, assimilating Picard, yeah they were bad. However, like a lot of popular latter day comic villains, the more they showed up, the less threatening they became. Their first few storylines cannot be ignored, but their continued "nerfing" in subsequent appearances is why they don't rank higher.

3. The Dominion - The Dominion was something the Federation never encountered, an amoral conquering version of itself. Made of various species all worshipping the shape shifting race called The Founders, the Gamma Quadrant proved to hold a very hostile threat for sure. The shape shifters were just the tip of the iceberg, the drug fueled warriors known as the Jem'Hadar outfought and often outnumbered their Federation opposition. With a shaky Klingon alliance, plus the Cardassian and Breen throwing in with the Founders, it took amazing steps to bring almost all the major races of the Alpha Quadrant together(many like the Cardassians and Romulans, for the first time) to finally end the war. The level of doubt the Founders sowed amongst the Federation and physical/military toll the Dominion War took is why they outrank the Borg in my book.

2. The Klingons - I can site multiple reasons why the bumpy ridged grouches are number two. I'll list the three that stick out. They were the most constant and feared threat in the TOS era. During the aforementioned Dominion War, it was widely believed if the Klingons had joined the Founders, it would have been the final nail in the Federations coffin. They have the ability to effortlessly go from having heroic and sympathetic characters like Worf, to easily going back to having an air of menace if one of the less scrupulous members shows up such as Chancellor Gowron. Finally, they did something even Khan couldn't do. They executed Kirk's son. The biggest difference in Kirk losing two important people in his life is that, well, Spock came back. Unlike the Borg who seemed weaker with more appearances, the Klingons still to this day have this aura of dread to them. They're warriors, good ones, and anything can set them off, and they've been that way for 45+ years. I think that’s good enough for the second slot.

1. Q - Funny, oddly charming, amusingly arrogant.... oh, and able to bend the universe to his will. Q was a thorn in Picard's side many times, and his appearances range from simply funny yet poignant stories to scary, costly lessons for old Jean Luc. The reason he is such a good villain isn't just because John de Lancie played him so well, it's the fact that in the first TNG episode Q directly states he's judging humanity. This is brought up again as the series goes on whenever he pops up. It's more than a little disturbing that such a seemingly mischievous prankster is in fact judging our entire race, and if he's not impressed...poof. Unlike the Borg or Dominion threats, no fighting, no war, just gone. Fortunately in the TNG finale, it seems our race earned a stay of execution....for now.

Ok, I know some will cry foul for Khan being so low or the outright gall of me to not mention the Gorn or whatever, but this is my list. Feel free to let me know what you think. – Tony/ Chainclaw